Since the end of April, I’ve had such a stressful time at school, like you wouldn’t believe. It’s been essays and tests and national tests(a Swedish thing that includes maths, Swedish, English, a third language, and some other subjects depending on what grade you’re in). And when I get stressed and feel pressure to perform, all I really want to do is hide under my covers and just avoid everything. To be honest, I’m really proud of myself for getting through this as well as I have, because even though 9th grade was stressful last year, it didn’t feel anything like this. When I get extremely stressed and overworked I also tend to have frequent nosebleeds, which is maybe not something you want to know, but I do feel like it’s a good physical indicator for me when I’m working too hard. I had such a nosebleed yesterday, so I’ve taken it upon myself to get some rest today. I am, however, going away to work at a weekend camp tomorrow, which won’t exactly be a relaxing experience.
Nonetheless, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that light is approaching.
As for my writing, I’ve been taking part in kurtofskythings gift exchange over on tumblr, where I’ve written 5k words worth of fanfiction. When I signed up for it at the beginning of April it sounded like a good idea. Let me just tell you it wasn’t the best. When it was a day before deadline, I had 1400 words written, with the minimum being 2500. I sent it in a day after deadline, 5000 words long. And even though that was stressful and idiotic, it also showed me that my abilities extend way beyond what I thought. I was able to write 3600 words in 2 days. It was possible. And maybe it wasn’t the best fanfic I’ve ever written, but it wasn’t the worst either. The gift exchange showed me the value of deadlines, and I’m really grateful for that, even though it would have been so much easier just to abandon it.
Aside from the gift exchange, I haven’t written anything except for various essays for school. My nano novel is sadly on hold for the time being, but I’m thinking of signing up in July again to have some motivation and pressure to continue it. Until then I think I’ll spend my time reading Brideshead Revisited(about which I will write a post, quite soon) and writing some more fanfic to keep the fire burning, so to speak.
See you later!